Why Both Parties Should Hate the New AZ Immigration Law

I don't understand the controversy over illegal aliens. If aliens have the audacity and technological capacity to travel here from several galaxies away, it doesn't seem like too much trouble to ask them to get a green card first.

But my central point is about the new immigration law in Arizona, which I'm told, is equally applicable to both those in the state from outer space and those from Mexico. The bill might also include those New Mexico as well, just to be safe. I haven't been able to verify.

In case you haven't heard, the new Arizona law allows police to stop and question people in public places if the officer, by looking at them, believes there is probable cause they (the individuals) are here illegally.

How can one tell if someone else is an illegal alien? It's easy! Generally, aliens are green with large oblong heads and bug eyes. They travel in spaceships. They float around with echoing voices, holding anal probing sticks, looking for human subjects. As often as not, the license plate on their spaceship reads "Mars." They just don't blend in well with human society. More importantly, they very often don't bother to carry the proper immigration paperwork! So Arizona is cracking down. Now, the next time Martians want to abduct a human for their research, I suspect they will be doing it somewhere other than Arizona. Even nearby Roswell or Area 51 might be too close for comfort.

I have no concerns with this law as it relates to those traveling intergalactically, or even those visitors from elsewhere in our solar system. But, it's more than a little bit trickier to discern a human's immigration status by looking at them. And that's exactly the problem with this law. It targets the innocent along with the guilty. It means that if you look vaguely Latino and happen to be dressed poorly in public, you might be subject to police interrogation. If you fit that description and happen to get stopped on a day you forget your wallet (which for me, happens roughly every 12 seconds), I can only imagine what happens next. It's probably about as pleasant as that probing.

Someone smarter than me once said that the Democratic party stands for equality and the Republican party stands for liberty. Both are worthy pursuits, even though these goals sometimes conflict. But this is not one of those times. Most everyone, other than maybe Pat Buchanan, should hate this bill.

The party of equality has worries about racial profiling. The party of liberty-- freedom from government interference in one's daily life--has cause for even greater concern. After all, what's a greater interference than the government having the power to force you to prove to its satisfaction, at any given moment, that you should't be deported? (I guess Martian-induced anal probing would qualify as a bigger interference. But that joke is getting old.) The limited government idea endorsed by conservatives is a concept fundamentally at odds with giving the government the power to stop people based on how they look and make them prove they shouldn't be shipped to Mexico.

Many people get annoyed by police road blocks that stop every car and ask you to show your driver's license. Imagine being subjected to the same every day of your life, not only in the car, but in the park, at restaurants, or shopping in the mall. Even if it (the law) only forces certain people to carry around additional paperwork and answer questions that others don't have to, that's a government-imposed burden that should draw the ire of both equalitarians and freedom-lovers everywhere. The great majority of life's pursuits are less enjoyable after the interruption of a police interrogation.

I was born in Alabama but have a dark complexion and slight Native American ancestry that sometimes gets me mistaken for as a Latino, and most every other race. There are days (Monday through Wednesday. Of the following week.) when I can't find my wallet and just go to work without it, figuring the risk of a getting a ticket is better than not getting to whatever it is I have going on that day. If the risk of being pulled over were arrest for the purpose of determining my potential deportation, I might just call in sick. Or call in ethnic.

Unless I can catch a ride on a spaceship, re-routed from Arizona.