My Morning in Biscuit Hell

So, my office was doing one of those socially awkward brunches this morning where everyone is supposed to sign up to bring something, and then struggle to find something to talk about while everyone sits and eats. I signed up to bring biscuits last week because no one else had, I have a good recipe, and it seemed fairly easy. But we had people over last night and there wasn't really a chance to cook, so I decided to just to hit the Popeye's chicken near my office parking lot on the way in. Popeye's biscuits are better than mine anyway. People would like Popeye's.

But when I got there at about 8:15, I discovered that Popeye's didn't open until 9. The brunch didn't start until 9:30, but we were supposed to be at work and have everything in the room by 9, so that the organizers could put it all together. I wouldn't have time to wait.

There are several other fast food options in that area, but none of them were open other that the rather downscale Church's Chicken. I envisioned disapproving looks for bringing such decidely average biscuits to a social occaions (I live in the South, after all) and decided I'd be better of driving 2 miles North to the next conglomeration of fast food stops to look for something better.

Of course, there was road construciton, and it took me 15 minutes to drive those 2 miles. I finally made it to a McDonald's, but they only sell biscuits individually at .99 a piece, which meant 12 of them would have cost $14 after tax, which was way too much to spend on this kind of thing. So, since it was already after 8:30, I decided there wasn't time to do anything other than just go back to Church's. I got back there at 8:45, 15 minutes before I was due in the office, and just enough time to buy my biscuits, park and reach my office front door at 9. But as I walked to the front door, I noticed a sign stating that their credit card machine was down. I never carry cash, so this was a significant problem.

After a brief moment of panic, I saw the Regions bank across the street and got out 20 bucks. Of course, the run down pick-up truck in front of me sat at the ATM for a good 10 minutes because apparently the concept of inserting a card, entering a PIN and selecting an appropriate amount of money was too complicated. At 8:55, I finally got $20 dollars and went back to Church's, where the cashier was so confused by the idea that I wanted a large order consisting entirely of biscuits that she had to call a manager to complete the transaction (I asked for 10, but apparently you can only by them individually or in packs of 6. The cashier didn't tell me this, or I would have just ordered 12.) Anyway, at 8:58, the manager sold me two six packs for $5.88, which at least justified the decision to forgo McDonald's. I hurriedly parked my car, almost hitting a pedestrian in the process, and rushed to the office, biscuits in tow, making it in by 9:15, and slid my inferior biscuits on the middle of the already-formed buffet.

What did the buffett consist of? A few assorted casseroles and about 6 varieties of homemade biscuits. Next time I'm just bringing napkins.