My shower curtain has a tag on it that says "Do Not Dry Clean." Is that really an issue?
I understand where the word "Sunday" came from (day of sun), even though it sometimes rains. But what about Monday through Friday? What's a day of Mon? Or a day of Wednes? Who came up with these terrible names?
Rule of Life Number 189: a community that supports a Ryan's Buffet is unlikely to have a lively theatre scene.
Why is that people only report ghost sightings in old, decrepit buildings? If ghosts really exist, why wouldn't they rather live in a modern McMansion, with a nice pool and all the latest gadgets, rather than a 150-year-old two bedroom in a bad part of town. Just saying.
If you ride a horse to work and park it on a downtown street, do you still have to feed the meter?
Why is it that religion-themed roadside signs that say things like "JESUS SAVES" only appear in conservative rural areas, where most everyone is already a Christian?
Do news anchors tell bad news to their loved ones with the same plastered smile they use to give their daily crime reports?
Why is it that people who don't belive in global warming tend to also be against abortion and high taxes on the rich? Is there some hidden connection here that I'm missing?
After February, I think the worst month of the year is July. But I'd listen to arguments for January and August.
Why do coaches and players have to answer to the media after games and explain their mistakes but referees and umpires don't have to?
Why would national news outlets rather repeatedly tell me that New York City survived Hurrican Irene with no major drama than mention the devastation it rendered elsewhere?
Speaking of which, when a tropical storm hits New England, shouldn't they call it (the storm) something else?
Three-day weekends in this country always end of Monday. Would anyone complain if the celebration was Friday instead? This would work a whooooollllllllle lot better.
More on that next time...
Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Random Thoughts
Yesterday I was driving and saw a truck in front of me with a bumper sticker that read "HO HATER." What trail of decisions does one have to make to reach a point where one thinks this a good idea? And where do you buy one of those stickers, anyway?
If a woman ever climbs in that truck, shouldn't she immediately be shot?
Why are people sometimes disgusted, but never "gusted?" Also, people are often overwhelmed, but never just plain old "whelmed." I don't get it.
I just read where an Ohio church's 65-foot outdoor statue of Jesus was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. If only the church instead had had the foresight to build a statue of a giant bush, which would not have been consumed...
Seriously though, this statue apparently cost $200,000 to construct, and will now cost about $300,000 to replace. Isn't there some charitable use for that money that would glorify God more than the construction of a giant graven image?
If curiosity killed the cat, why do we still have them?
Do you think the place that sold the "HO HATER" bumper sticker also sold one that said "HO LOVER"? Is there an ongoing debate somewhere over the true value of "Ho's"?
Closing with a story:
Two days ago, I went to the post office to mail my dad what was obviously a Father's Day card. I had this conversation with the clerk:
Me: I need postage for this.
Her: Let's see... I can ensure a tomorrow delivery for $19, but it will probably arrive tomorrow anyway.
Me: There's no rush, I just need to get it there.
Her: The $19 delivery also comes with $100 of insurance.
Me: No thank you.
Her: Would you like insurance?
Me: No, I don't need insurance, I just need to mail this regular first-class mail.
Her: For $12, I can give you a tracking number to ensure delivery.
Me: This is just a card. I just need to mail it.
Her: No tracking? No insurance? No guaranteed delivery?
Me: Just need to mail it.
Her: That will be $1.56.
Can she really be having this conversation with every single customer? No wonder there's always a line at the post office.
The whole conversation left me disgusted, even though I was perfectly gusted when I arrived.
If a woman ever climbs in that truck, shouldn't she immediately be shot?
Why are people sometimes disgusted, but never "gusted?" Also, people are often overwhelmed, but never just plain old "whelmed." I don't get it.
I just read where an Ohio church's 65-foot outdoor statue of Jesus was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. If only the church instead had had the foresight to build a statue of a giant bush, which would not have been consumed...
Seriously though, this statue apparently cost $200,000 to construct, and will now cost about $300,000 to replace. Isn't there some charitable use for that money that would glorify God more than the construction of a giant graven image?
If curiosity killed the cat, why do we still have them?
Do you think the place that sold the "HO HATER" bumper sticker also sold one that said "HO LOVER"? Is there an ongoing debate somewhere over the true value of "Ho's"?
Closing with a story:
Two days ago, I went to the post office to mail my dad what was obviously a Father's Day card. I had this conversation with the clerk:
Me: I need postage for this.
Her: Let's see... I can ensure a tomorrow delivery for $19, but it will probably arrive tomorrow anyway.
Me: There's no rush, I just need to get it there.
Her: The $19 delivery also comes with $100 of insurance.
Me: No thank you.
Her: Would you like insurance?
Me: No, I don't need insurance, I just need to mail this regular first-class mail.
Her: For $12, I can give you a tracking number to ensure delivery.
Me: This is just a card. I just need to mail it.
Her: No tracking? No insurance? No guaranteed delivery?
Me: Just need to mail it.
Her: That will be $1.56.
Can she really be having this conversation with every single customer? No wonder there's always a line at the post office.
The whole conversation left me disgusted, even though I was perfectly gusted when I arrived.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
