I Could Really Use a Wish Right Now

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?  I could really use a wish right now.

I didn't come up with those lines, as you are probably well aware.  Those are song lyrics sung by someone on the radio by named Hayley, who probably has some mental health issues.

I can relate to her music, because I have some too, and I was looking forward to seeing her in concert next month.

But that's probably not actually going to happen, because the show is probably going to be cancelled.  Just like everything else lately.

I've seen Paramore a few times before, so I can handle missing Hayley's latest show.  But the endless routine of quarantine is starting to wear thin.   

I could really use a wish right now.  And if I had one, I'd wish life would just go back to normal.

I miss having things to look forward to.  I miss live sports on tv, and I miss seeing other people.  I even miss when people argued about stuff like tax policy, rather than stuff like whether the virus that's killed almost 100,000 people was all part of a secret government plot.  (By the way, as someone with a government security clearance, I can assure that it's way more likely that Netflix was a secret government plot to inject our brains with 8 episodes of the Tiger King.)

It's only been about two months, but in some ways I barely even remember what it was like before.  I have a vague memory that back then I used to not go out that often because I had a sprained ankle, or because I was new in town and it felt exhausting.  If only I had known what was coming, I would have lived more and gotten it out of my system while I could. 

Instead, I used to come home on a Tuesday and think of all the reasons I should  stay home and watch tv all night instead of getting off my couch.  Oh wait, no, I worked from home on Tuesdays, so I would come up with reasons why it didn't make sense to leave the house on Tuesday nights when I hadn't done so all day.

On Wednesdays, I would come home from work and remind myself that it didn't make much sense to go back out and exhaust myself, considering what a busy night Tuesday had been.

I'm kind of an introvert, but if (safely) going almost anywhere were an option this Wednesday, I would probably do it.  And I know I'm not the only one. 

I don't mean to sound to sound selfish or ungrateful.  Shutting down for a while was the only choice, and I don't want wishful thinking to be the substitute for healthy decision-making.  I am lucky to still have a job, and to have avoided the virus thus far.  I occasionally have to go into my office, which at least breaks up the routine and provides a sense of normalcy. 

I have it so much better than other people I know.

But quarantine life is getting old and I hope life works out that it (safely) ends soon. 

I don't pretend that's an insightful or original idea, just like I wasn't the first to have imagined that passing airplane was a shooting star.

And if I see one from my balcony tonight, I'm still going to wish upon it.

Because I could really use a wish right now.