You are probably just reading this because you aren't allowed to leave your house and have exhausted every other entertainment option you can think of. That's ok.
A captive audience is still an audience, and neither of us have anything better to do.
It's the perfect time for a new batch of random thoughts. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.
Why is it that I start to get restless after a day at home, but my cat hasn't left the house in like 16 years and she is doing just fine?
So is it the Corona Virus, the coronavirus, Covid-19, SARS-CoV-2, or something with the word "China" in the name? If just naming the virus is this hard, no wonder we don't have a vaccine yet.
Instead of getting a stimulus check from the government, can I request that they send me an equivalent amount worth of toilet paper?
Lots of people are watching a new documentary about a guy with a mullet haircut and his own pet tigers. In 5 years, he will probably be our president.
Why didn't I think to buy a gigantic, tricked-out house that I couldn't afford right before the banks were ordered not to foreclose on people?
At what point does flying actually become safer than staying home, because there are fewer people on the plane than living in your house? Plus, you can swipe some toilet paper from the lavoratory.
Do police officers now have to sanitize their hands before putting people in handcuffs?
If you don't have the virus, is it insensitive to play R.EM.'s song with the lyrics "It's the end of the world as we know but I feel fine"?
Why did toilet paper become the thing people decided to lose their minds stocking up on? Why not, say, oranges?
Why are police, medics, and firefighters all referred to as first responders when one of them got to the scene third?
One thing I know: when we all emerge from this thing, there are going to be a whole lot of people who need haircuts.
Another thing: tickets for whatever the first live sporting event is on the other side of this are going to go for like a thousand dollars. Or maybe that amount worth of toilet paper.
I feel really bad for people who live alone and have birthdays while under quarantine. If you know anyone to whom that applies, drop them off some toilet paper.
Here's to all those who are, or have a loved one, fighting against this thing. Stay safe, keep fighting, and don't give up hope for a day when you have something better to do than read this blog.
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