"The holidays always seem long" the cashier said, "because we put out our holiday decorations so early."
"Was this the store where I saw Christmas decorations before Halloween?", I asked.
"Yep, that was us."
It all made sense, considering I had seen New Year's Eve decorations at that same drugstore earlier today.
The cashier was perfectly nice, but her store's policy is ridiculous. No store needs to have Christmas decorations up before Thanksgiving, let alone Halloween.
Here's what I mean:
I love Christmas. I love cheesy Christmas merchandise and decorations. During mid December, I'll walk into Walgreen's if I have a spare moment just for the sake of looking at the Charlie Brown trees in a box or reindeer lawn decorations and absorbing the holiday glow.
I just don't need to do it on November 3rd.
That's too early. Thanksgiving and Halloween deserve seasons of their own. Celebrating Christmas in early November makes it stale by mid-December. Getting overly excited about anything too far advance takes away the enjoyment of now.
It seems like that's what we're always doing. "Thanksgiving might be around the corner," the commercials say, "but just wait until Christmas! That's when things will get really fun!"
The message will change come later in December, when the new year is when all our dreams will come true.
But come about December 28th, store aisles will stop looking a lot like Christmas and start looking a lot like Valentine's Day, because every kiss begins with Kay. Besides, isn't that what you really want?
It isn't just holidays, either. How long until your next vacation?
Everybody's working for the weekend.
Or, perhaps, the most wonderful time of the year.
I understand the counterpoint. Just because I don't want Christmas season to start in early November, doesn't mean somebody else wouldn't like to see Christmas stockings and holiday colored M&M's when it's still warm outside. So, really, who's the victim?
Who?
Me. And those of you who want to enjoy the holiday season we're actually in.
I love Christmas, but I love Thanksgiving too. And Halloween. The seasons and calendar set up nicely so that they all get about a month. Starting Christmas too soon takes away from the celebration of the others. You can't be fully into the moment of the holiday at hand when the store is already trying to point you towards something else any more than you fully listen to someone talking to you while sending a text.
It's information overload.
It's symptomatic of bigger problems in our society. A day after we pause to give thanks for what we have, we flock in droves to buy more on Black Friday. It's as though someone has convinced us that if we just buy onnnnneeee more thing, we'll finally be satisfied, and we just can't wait to get started buying that elusive happiness.
We shouldn't fall into that trap and overlook Thanksgiving. It's a day where we can eat fantastic food with people we like and remember that for most of us, things could have turned out a lot worse. It doesn't require a lot of fuss or hassle trying to throw the best party or money and stress over finding that perfect gift.
For most people, it's the only four-day weekend on the calendar. It's a time to relax and recover from whatever the year has brought, to celebrate making it through its worst and to give thanks for its enjoying its best. It's just enough time to remember who we are outside of work and what we have that brings us joy.
And it's not just a meal, but a long weekend of doing as much or as little as we want, with no trappings or commercialization.
Maybe that's why stores are so anxious to rush through it.
But it's exactly why we shouldn't let them.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Blogging the Republican Debate
Moderators: Ok, welcome audience and tv-land.
Please welcome the candidates. Let's get started.
Should we raise the minimum wage?
Trump: No, because we're not winning. We don't win. Our taxes are too high and we're getting beat by the Chinese and by other militaries. We need to start winning.
Rubio: No. By the way, my dad was a bartender. And now I'm running for President! Also we need more welders.
Carson: Thank you for not asking me about those stories I made up to sell my book. It doesn't really matter what I say regardless because I look so professorial up here. I could read the phone book and sound brilliant. Admit it, you love hearing my voice.
Moderators: Why should you be elected?
Trump: We're not winning. We need to start winning. If you elect me, we'll start winning. Because winning.
Bush: We need economic growth. "The growth that we don't have makes the deficit grow." "We need to repeal every rule that Barack Obama has in terms of work in progress." We need to be serious about being serious about being serious.
Trump: We need to get serious about building a wall and deporting illegal immigrants.
Kasich: We can't do that. Think of the children! I have two 16-year old children!
Trump: You're a loser.
Kasich: (stands in a corner)
Moderators: What do you think, Ms. Fiorina?
Fiorina: Crony capitalism. Regulatory thicket. Three-page tax code. We need to take our government back!
Carson: Doesn't my voice sound like Morgan Freeman?
Moderators: Senator Cruz, how would you pay for your massive tax cut?
Senator Cruz: I would cut five departments. The IRS, the Department of Commerce, the Department of Energy...um..., the Department of Commerce and the Department of Energy.
Rubio: The most important job any person in this room will ever have is the job of being a parent. More important than being president. So if you don't have kids you aren't important. So, we need to be pro families. Because the most important job you can is to be the President. Oh wait, I think I got my lines confused, so I'll just keep saying the word "family."
Moderators: What about the Pacific Trade deal? (inspirational music begins playing for no apparent reason)
Trump: It's a bad deal. We're losing to China, and we'll keeping losing even more to China if we pass this deal. We need to stop being losers!
Paul: Shouldn't we point out that China isn't actually part of this deal?
Moderators: Let's just move on. Mr. Carson, should we have troops in the Middle East?
Carson: Well, the Chinese and the Russians are there now. And jihadists. We need to make them look like losers!
Moderators: Was that your Donald Trump impression? Oh well. What about you Ms. Fiorina?
Fiorina: Three-page tax code. Take our government back!
Trump: We need to stop losing.
Moderators: What do you think Governor Bush?
Bush: I think Obama hates America.
Moderators: How would you deal with Putin?
Trump: Well, China is a big problem. And so is Iran. And Iraq. And Putin and I are friends. So someone else should deal with him. Because we're too busy losing.
Fiorina: Wait, I've met Putin too! But I wouldn't talk to him if I were President, because that would hurt his feelings and then he'd do what we want. Also, three-page tax code.
Rubio: I haven't met Putin, but it's kind of weird that you people are name-dropping like this. Do you think Putin is bragging to the Russians that he's met you?
Kasich: Wait, I'm still here? Why? Ok, I'll now make up for the last hour by giving a hurried, rambling speech covering my entire platform in 90 seconds.
Moderators: Ok, Governor Bush: would you bail the banks out again?
Bush: No. Hillary wants them to be too big to fail. We should raise their capital requirements so they aren't too big to fail. "I was just in Washington, Iowa talking about how bad Washington, DC is. It was kind of a, you get the, um (awkward hand motions), well kinda--anyway..." (awkward shrug). The financial crisis was bad and now banks are overregulated.
Carson: The banks need to be regulated so that they don't have so much power. ... What we need is to stop having so much government regulation because it hurts the poor.
All candidates: We're going to talk about how horrible something or someone called Dodd Frank is, but none of us are going to remotely explain what he or it is. But he's probably a loser.
Moderators: Ok, candidates: why are you a better candidate than Hillary Clinton, because she is a really good candidate. I mean, really good. She was First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State, and pretty much better than all of you. So why shouldn't I just drop you all in the Secret Pit of Doom hidden underneath this stage so she can have her coronation?
Fiorina: That sounds like crony capitalism.
Rubio: She's old.
Moderators: Anyone else have any final words?
Kasich: I have two 16-year old children.
Fiorina: We need to get rid of crony capitalism with my three-page tax plan. We need to take our government back.
Bush: I'm a uniter not a divider. Oh wait, has someone else said that before?
Cruz: We will win! Go to my website!
Rubio: My dad was a bartender! Here's my website!
Carson: While we've been debating, the world around us is crumbling. Because of political correctness. Also, wouldn't you like to hear my voice for the next 4 years?
Trump: I'm really rich. And I'm winning.
Please welcome the candidates. Let's get started.
Should we raise the minimum wage?
Trump: No, because we're not winning. We don't win. Our taxes are too high and we're getting beat by the Chinese and by other militaries. We need to start winning.
Rubio: No. By the way, my dad was a bartender. And now I'm running for President! Also we need more welders.
Carson: Thank you for not asking me about those stories I made up to sell my book. It doesn't really matter what I say regardless because I look so professorial up here. I could read the phone book and sound brilliant. Admit it, you love hearing my voice.
Moderators: Why should you be elected?
Trump: We're not winning. We need to start winning. If you elect me, we'll start winning. Because winning.
Bush: We need economic growth. "The growth that we don't have makes the deficit grow." "We need to repeal every rule that Barack Obama has in terms of work in progress." We need to be serious about being serious about being serious.
Trump: We need to get serious about building a wall and deporting illegal immigrants.
Kasich: We can't do that. Think of the children! I have two 16-year old children!
Trump: You're a loser.
Kasich: (stands in a corner)
Moderators: What do you think, Ms. Fiorina?
Fiorina: Crony capitalism. Regulatory thicket. Three-page tax code. We need to take our government back!
Carson: Doesn't my voice sound like Morgan Freeman?
Moderators: Senator Cruz, how would you pay for your massive tax cut?
Senator Cruz: I would cut five departments. The IRS, the Department of Commerce, the Department of Energy...um..., the Department of Commerce and the Department of Energy.
Rubio: The most important job any person in this room will ever have is the job of being a parent. More important than being president. So if you don't have kids you aren't important. So, we need to be pro families. Because the most important job you can is to be the President. Oh wait, I think I got my lines confused, so I'll just keep saying the word "family."
Moderators: What about the Pacific Trade deal? (inspirational music begins playing for no apparent reason)
Trump: It's a bad deal. We're losing to China, and we'll keeping losing even more to China if we pass this deal. We need to stop being losers!
Paul: Shouldn't we point out that China isn't actually part of this deal?
Moderators: Let's just move on. Mr. Carson, should we have troops in the Middle East?
Carson: Well, the Chinese and the Russians are there now. And jihadists. We need to make them look like losers!
Moderators: Was that your Donald Trump impression? Oh well. What about you Ms. Fiorina?
Fiorina: Three-page tax code. Take our government back!
Trump: We need to stop losing.
Moderators: What do you think Governor Bush?
Bush: I think Obama hates America.
Moderators: How would you deal with Putin?
Trump: Well, China is a big problem. And so is Iran. And Iraq. And Putin and I are friends. So someone else should deal with him. Because we're too busy losing.
Fiorina: Wait, I've met Putin too! But I wouldn't talk to him if I were President, because that would hurt his feelings and then he'd do what we want. Also, three-page tax code.
Rubio: I haven't met Putin, but it's kind of weird that you people are name-dropping like this. Do you think Putin is bragging to the Russians that he's met you?
Kasich: Wait, I'm still here? Why? Ok, I'll now make up for the last hour by giving a hurried, rambling speech covering my entire platform in 90 seconds.
Moderators: Ok, Governor Bush: would you bail the banks out again?
Bush: No. Hillary wants them to be too big to fail. We should raise their capital requirements so they aren't too big to fail. "I was just in Washington, Iowa talking about how bad Washington, DC is. It was kind of a, you get the, um (awkward hand motions), well kinda--anyway..." (awkward shrug). The financial crisis was bad and now banks are overregulated.
Carson: The banks need to be regulated so that they don't have so much power. ... What we need is to stop having so much government regulation because it hurts the poor.
All candidates: We're going to talk about how horrible something or someone called Dodd Frank is, but none of us are going to remotely explain what he or it is. But he's probably a loser.
Moderators: Ok, candidates: why are you a better candidate than Hillary Clinton, because she is a really good candidate. I mean, really good. She was First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State, and pretty much better than all of you. So why shouldn't I just drop you all in the Secret Pit of Doom hidden underneath this stage so she can have her coronation?
Fiorina: That sounds like crony capitalism.
Rubio: She's old.
Moderators: Anyone else have any final words?
Kasich: I have two 16-year old children.
Fiorina: We need to get rid of crony capitalism with my three-page tax plan. We need to take our government back.
Bush: I'm a uniter not a divider. Oh wait, has someone else said that before?
Cruz: We will win! Go to my website!
Rubio: My dad was a bartender! Here's my website!
Carson: While we've been debating, the world around us is crumbling. Because of political correctness. Also, wouldn't you like to hear my voice for the next 4 years?
Trump: I'm really rich. And I'm winning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
