Just Hoping: One Year Later

It's hard to believe it's been a year since I wrote this:

http://andrewsmithsthoughts.blogspot.com/2012/02/this-is-blog-about-hope.html

But it's true.  My brother's surgery to remove a fist-sized mass and 18 inches from his colon was a year ago today. 

Since then, he's endured 12 sessions of chemotherapy, a triathlon and a whole lot of life uncertainty, starting with an initial post-bioposy prognosis on the Ides of March that didn't sound so optimistic. 

But he's kept moving forward (as much as circumstances allowed) one day at a time, and all the news lately has been good. His is an inspiring story of what we can overcome if we refuse to accept defeat.

But as for my story, it has been better. 

I've been in the dumps lately, and I can't seem to find my way out.

Sometimes it seems, after life has been calm for awhile, a million little things conspire (with a couple of big things) to try to drag you down.  Of course, I have way too many friends who are going through worse things than I am, but I don't know whether their suffering should make me feel thankful that my life seems peaceful by comparison, or whether I should just feel heartbroken on their behalf.  I compromise by feeling a little bit of both.

I want to believe there's beauty and meaning in our struggles, but sometimes, it seems like tragedies are a hot potato that gets tossed around freely from one person to the next.

My pastor says that God "prunes" us sometimes, which hurts in the beginning but leads to greater, more focused growth over the long term. In the meantime, though, it just hurts. 

I've found myself in similar places before, and worked my way out.  I've found that if we just focus on finding the strength to live the day in front of us, it always seems that eventually we'll suddenly realize that life's uphill climb has finally evened out, or maybe even started just the slightest slope downward.

Until then, all we can do is try to find the strength, hope and courage to keep going, believing that better things, things that we can't even fathom, are around that blind corner.

I've lived this story enough times to know that hope is true.

But wouldn't it be nice if that corner got here soon?