Other than the U.S. and Australia, want to guess the country from which the most viewers have read this blog?
It's Iran!
No, not really.
It's actually Denmark, as my blog title indicates. And it isn't even close. Canada, where I thought I had friends, came in a distant fourth. Sadly, Iran isn't actually in the top ten, but surprisingly, it's still one spot ahead of Mexico. I guess I might not need those Spanish classes after all.
To what do I owe my surprising popularity in a country I've never been too, have no friends or relatives, and whose people I often mistakenly confuse with the Dutch? I have no idea.
But I'll take it!
I've always loved the Danish. It's one of the all-time underrated pastries. Scones are dry, bagels are boring, and doughnuts are bulky, but absolutely no one turns down a cheese danish. I've never understood why they are generally limited to hotel continental breakfast buffets. Danishes are a seriously underutilized breakfast food.
So, needless to say, I was thrilled to find out that danishes love me as well, even if I'm a bit confused as to how they surf the Internet.
Of course, it is at least possible that at some of my hits from Denmark come from people rather that pastries. That would be even better news, except for the fact that anyone actually reading this from Denmark probably has already heard more pastry jokes than they care to remember and are no doubt offended to the point of no return.
But this is not my intent. Danish jokes are undoubtedly in bad taste. And by now, even I realize they've grown stale. So, no more.
Seriously, I'm thrilled when anyone reads this silly blog and grateful that someone found it across the Atlantic and apparently shared it with some friends. Either that, or someone over there decided to play with my head by logging onto the site from every computer they could find. But either way, Denmark now has a special place in my heart.
I'd love to know how this happened, though. I don't have a single contact there, and, as far as I know, I've never written anything of particular relevant to the Danish state. I know several people in Canada, but hardly anyone reads me from up there, even though they don't have a lot of other options-- it's been too cold for anyone up there to leave their house for the last four months.
Denmark, in contrast, has my back. I'm sure that if I ever actually get to meet some people from Denmark, I will like them. Especially if they read my blog.
Which they probably will.
To learn more about Denmark, Andrew Smith's third-most passionate fan base, click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denmark
Monday, March 28, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Random Thoughts
It's Monday. It's late. I can't sleep. What better time for a fresh round of random thoughts? As always, real thoughts, really random:
I think I saw a popular local writer at Trader Joe's yesterday. What's the appropriate response when you see someone who may or may not be famous? You can't just go up and ask them, can you? This is why there should be a law making famous people wear name tags at all times for the rest of our benefits.
If someone wearing a costume is disguised, is someone wearing normal clothes considered "guised?"
Every other time that I tell someone I'm originally from Alabama, I hear in response either: "you sure don't sound like it" or some lame joke involving a fake Southern accent. No one would do that kind of thing if I were from, say, China, because that would obviously be offensive. So, what's the difference?
Has anyone else realized that Daylight Savings Time doesn't actually save anything? It doesn't change the amount of daylight we get, it just pushes the light from the morning to the evening. Whoever coined the name was just lying to us.
The other day someone asked me if I knew where I'd spend eternity if I died today. He was pretty surprised when I told him I was already dead.
Last week, I flipped by American Idol and saw some guy singing a Bon Jovi song to a very unhappy looking Steven Tyler. Isn't that like wearing a "coca cola" tee shirt in hopes of impressing your bosses at the Pepsi Company?
What we're doing in Libya would have been much easier if we would have done it two weeks ago. I'm just saying.
Speaking of which, can the world please agree of a unified spelling of Qaddafi/Gaddafi/Kaddafi? I've never seen the Q, K, and G used interchangeably before and don't think a homicidal madman deserves to be the first guy to pull it off.
Why is it that in Tennessee I can buy bananas year round from Costa Rica and pineapples year round from Hawaii, but no one sells crawfish, even during the height of their season, because they only live near the Gulf Coast?
By the way, I now decree that "Andrew" may also be spelled starting with an E, Q or X.
Why does the U.S. have a Midwest but not a Mideast? And if St. Louis, Missouri is the Gateway to the West, does that make East St. Louis, Illinois the Gateway to the East? If so, why would anyone ever move East?
With Japan in the mess that it's in, does Fox have to pull all of the Simpsons episodes involving Homer screwing up at the nuclear plant?
Speaking of which, every time I think I'm unlucky, I need to think of every Japanese person 75 or older who've lived there since birth.
Why is it that the songs that get stuck in my head are never ones that I really liked in the first place?
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
That's all for now.
I'll be back soon.
Xndrew.
I think I saw a popular local writer at Trader Joe's yesterday. What's the appropriate response when you see someone who may or may not be famous? You can't just go up and ask them, can you? This is why there should be a law making famous people wear name tags at all times for the rest of our benefits.
If someone wearing a costume is disguised, is someone wearing normal clothes considered "guised?"
Every other time that I tell someone I'm originally from Alabama, I hear in response either: "you sure don't sound like it" or some lame joke involving a fake Southern accent. No one would do that kind of thing if I were from, say, China, because that would obviously be offensive. So, what's the difference?
Has anyone else realized that Daylight Savings Time doesn't actually save anything? It doesn't change the amount of daylight we get, it just pushes the light from the morning to the evening. Whoever coined the name was just lying to us.
The other day someone asked me if I knew where I'd spend eternity if I died today. He was pretty surprised when I told him I was already dead.
Last week, I flipped by American Idol and saw some guy singing a Bon Jovi song to a very unhappy looking Steven Tyler. Isn't that like wearing a "coca cola" tee shirt in hopes of impressing your bosses at the Pepsi Company?
What we're doing in Libya would have been much easier if we would have done it two weeks ago. I'm just saying.
Speaking of which, can the world please agree of a unified spelling of Qaddafi/Gaddafi/Kaddafi? I've never seen the Q, K, and G used interchangeably before and don't think a homicidal madman deserves to be the first guy to pull it off.
Why is it that in Tennessee I can buy bananas year round from Costa Rica and pineapples year round from Hawaii, but no one sells crawfish, even during the height of their season, because they only live near the Gulf Coast?
By the way, I now decree that "Andrew" may also be spelled starting with an E, Q or X.
Why does the U.S. have a Midwest but not a Mideast? And if St. Louis, Missouri is the Gateway to the West, does that make East St. Louis, Illinois the Gateway to the East? If so, why would anyone ever move East?
With Japan in the mess that it's in, does Fox have to pull all of the Simpsons episodes involving Homer screwing up at the nuclear plant?
Speaking of which, every time I think I'm unlucky, I need to think of every Japanese person 75 or older who've lived there since birth.
Why is it that the songs that get stuck in my head are never ones that I really liked in the first place?
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
That's all for now.
I'll be back soon.
Xndrew.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Exciting News
So, last week I wrote about following one's dreams, or something like that. It's one of those things that's easy to write, but tough to actually do anything about.
But when I wrote that all that sentimental, head-in-the-clouds-type stuff, I wasn't just speaking hypothetically, like I usually am when thinking unattainable thoughts. I had something in the works. I'm sneaky that way.
I'm thrilled to announce that the blog is moving up in the world. Or at least part of the blog is. While my pointlessly random attempts at humor and thoughts on life and spirituality will be staying right here, those sports posts that half of you consistently tune out have a new home. As of today, I have an arrangement with Bleacher Report, the fourth most popular sports website in the United States, to be the new home of all my sports blogging.
This is good on several fronts. The hardest thing about this space has been figuring out how to balance my desire to mix in some sports-related posts, given that my sports topics are the only thing that half of you read, but they completely bore everyone else. It's been much harder than I had imagined trying to figure out how to write humor columns, politics, sports posts and life observations all in one consistent voice.
Now, I don't have to. The sports posts go on Bleacher Report and everything else stays here. Having two different sites also means I'll be blogging twice as often, and being associated with BR means I suddenly have an exponentially larger audience, so maybe I can finally get some long-awaited hate mail.
Of course, I'm thrilled about the added exposure Bleacher Report provides. I'm on the verge of having credibility. But for all of our sakes, I'm going to try really hard to never quite get there. Life is much more free when you have no expectations to uphold.
Anyway, for those so inclined, my first sports column, recapping Alabama's basketball season, is posted here:
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/627395-alabamas-2010-11-basketball-season-officially-a-success-with-win-over-georgia
I promise not to make a habit of cross-referencing every sports article on this site. But for my first one, I would appreciate the page views, even if you don't actually read the piece.
God bless you all. Thanks for reading, and pushing me one step closer to my dreams.
But when I wrote that all that sentimental, head-in-the-clouds-type stuff, I wasn't just speaking hypothetically, like I usually am when thinking unattainable thoughts. I had something in the works. I'm sneaky that way.
I'm thrilled to announce that the blog is moving up in the world. Or at least part of the blog is. While my pointlessly random attempts at humor and thoughts on life and spirituality will be staying right here, those sports posts that half of you consistently tune out have a new home. As of today, I have an arrangement with Bleacher Report, the fourth most popular sports website in the United States, to be the new home of all my sports blogging.
This is good on several fronts. The hardest thing about this space has been figuring out how to balance my desire to mix in some sports-related posts, given that my sports topics are the only thing that half of you read, but they completely bore everyone else. It's been much harder than I had imagined trying to figure out how to write humor columns, politics, sports posts and life observations all in one consistent voice.
Now, I don't have to. The sports posts go on Bleacher Report and everything else stays here. Having two different sites also means I'll be blogging twice as often, and being associated with BR means I suddenly have an exponentially larger audience, so maybe I can finally get some long-awaited hate mail.
Of course, I'm thrilled about the added exposure Bleacher Report provides. I'm on the verge of having credibility. But for all of our sakes, I'm going to try really hard to never quite get there. Life is much more free when you have no expectations to uphold.
Anyway, for those so inclined, my first sports column, recapping Alabama's basketball season, is posted here:
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/627395-alabamas-2010-11-basketball-season-officially-a-success-with-win-over-georgia
I promise not to make a habit of cross-referencing every sports article on this site. But for my first one, I would appreciate the page views, even if you don't actually read the piece.
God bless you all. Thanks for reading, and pushing me one step closer to my dreams.
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